I got Parasited once as a child. It happened pretty innocently: I dropped my Fruit Roll-Up in the sand, and I wasn’t about to let that delicious, rainbow-colored tube of sugar and smashed pears go to waste just because it had become filthy. It’s a rule I still live by to some extent, as I’ve grown to be a proudly filthy man, but I certainly learned my lesson about eating sand when the doctor told me I had worms. These days, I avoid becoming the host to foreign organisms, but I was weirdly surprised to find a porn site turning parasitism into sexy scenarios.
Parasited.com calls itself Your #1 Parasited Porn Sauce. I usually call bullshit on the constant claims of “We’re Number One” from every porn site under the sun, from dinky free tubes to sprawling reality porn networks, but I was ready to believe these guys pretty much immediately. Hell,
